"Coming To Grief"
A High Concept Challenge 24-Minute Story in the
LNH20 (Legion of Net.Heroes 20th Anniversary) universe
copyright 2011 by Dave Van Domelen
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I knew things were going wrong when my headset pinged me to say I had 24
minutes of air left before I'd have to start breathing the crap floating
around Netropolis. And even though I was still just a naive kid, I knew that
24 minutes meant time spent just hanging out, not time spent fighting the
blotchy-skinned technozombies roaming the streets.
Some mad science guy had ripped off the idea from some 80s cartoon,
setting up gas generators around the city that turned everyone into mindless
drones obedient to his commands. Seemed like the perfect sort of case for
Quester, right? Lots of disposable minions to fight through...although I was
using beanbag rounds and a shock baton back then...and the promise of a boss
fight at the end.
Problem was, I wasn't getting much in the way of drops off the zombified
citizens. Ammo packs, some health bars, but nothing that could beat a boss.
Oh, and no air tanks either.
Back then, the only thing my power was good for was getting scenario-
appropriate drops off defeated foes, y'see. If I was careful, I usually
found what I needed before facing the main boss, but I teamed up with a bunch
of other teenaged heroes as backup, just in case I was left short. Buncha
losers, y'ask me. But I was a loser then too. I hear some whiny punk in
Canada is running around with the same powerset these days, but he only uses
it ironically. Whatever the frag THAT means.
Anyway, the zombies went down too easy, and I wasn't finding anything
tough enough to give me a good drop. Turns out I was in the wrong part of
town, the Saviors of the Net were getting all the good expees off the mad
scientist and his main lieutenants.
Way too soon, the air ran out, and I went all zomb myself. I came to a
while later, and my teammates told me the Saviors had blown up the generators
and saved the day. And I'd somehow lost my pants while wandering around with
a chemically induced blackout. Since I wasn't of legal drinking age yet,
this was a new experience for me, and a mortifying one.
Quester died that day, metaphorically. I realized the real problem was
that I was letting the badguys get all their stuff set up, summon their
minions, all that. I was going in when they were ready for me, so of course
I ended up blacked out and pantsless! I needed to figure out where they'd be
setting up and take them down before they were ready.
So I ditched the loser brigade, stopped using wussy non-lethal weaponry,
and became the Spawn Camper, taking out villainy before it finished zoning
in. It worked pretty well for me, too, I had a pretty bad rep by the time it
all came crashing down.
(Interesting tale. And when it came crashing down?)
The fscking Killfile, yeah. I stopped getting any good drops, just
coins. I had to flee to South Korea to hide from the few enemies I'd left
alive, since a lot of them were regular unpowered crimelords who weren't
exactly slowed down by the Killfile. Beating up street punks for coins paid
the rent, but being the Gold Farmer wasn't exactly what I wanted to do with
my life.
(But the Killfile has been down for a while now. Why didn't you go back
to your old life as the Spawn Camper?)
Eh. Been gone too long, and frankly what do I care about stopping the
bad guys? The daily grind may be boring, but I don't end up zombified and
pantsless. Let the n00bs do the hard work now.
(So, you don't want to be anything more than a bottom-feeder now? How
disappointing.)
Hey, I didn't say that. But I burned too many bridges as the Spawn
Camper, some of my old former friends now run this new Legion of Net.Heroes
thing, smug bastards. Why would I want to join that, even assuming they'd
have me? And I might be a lot stronger now than when I was Questor, but
starting my own group again is too much like grinding. And it doesn't pay as
well.
(I didn't say you had to be a net.hero. Why not play the other side of
the fence? I could arrange it so that you need not fear long term captivity,
and all you'll have to do in exchange is devote some of your efforts to
causing a particular net.hero some problems. I don't even ask you kill her,
just make life unpleasant, teach her the lessons you learned, that being a
shiny happy hero is a chump's game.)
Griefing, eh? Yyyyeah, I think I can do that. Tell me more about this
deal....
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Author's Notes:
Actual story written in 18 minutes, but I spent a few minutes in the
shower roughing out ideas, plus a minute or so on this note. Still, I figure
it gets in under the wire in spirit.
The 80s cartoon being ripped off is Spiral Zone, one of my favorite 80s
kidvid programs. Spawn Camping is a practice in online games where you wait
someplace where a particular enemy (or other player) will appear ("spawn") so
you can kill them right away. It often involves letting other players do the
work required to make the enemy spawn, then stealing their reward. Spawn
Campers are not highly thought of, plus cross that over with McFarlane's
Spawn for a dark vigilante who steals kills from other heroes. ;) The whiny
Canadian is a reference to Scott Pilgrim.
The speaker in parentheses shouldn't be too hard to figure out, yes?
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The man before him, hovering slightly off the ground, fumed. He was
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A small group of LNH members was walking through a psychedelic landscape, on paths of tentacles and goo and thread and ice and sometimes nothing but light, crossing portals that looked like giant open mouths, cuts ripped into air, whirlpools, floating crystals, balls of light, or even rectangles scrawled in charcoal; walking past
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LNH20 Comics Presents #2: The Spoon of Destiny Saga: "Re-animations and Revelations" Chapter 2 of a chaotic add-on cascade by Adrian J. McClure, Andrew Perron, Martin Phipps and Dave Van Domelan *** Dr. Mood had been at the Netropolitan Museum of Art looking for the Spoon of Destiny when five Legionaires (Doc Nostalgia, Nudist Man,
A small group of LNH members was walking through a psychedelic landscape, on paths of tentacles and goo and thread and ice and sometimes nothing but light, crossing portals that looked like giant open mouths, cuts ripped into air, whirlpools, floating crystals, balls of light, or even rectangles scrawled in charcoal; walking past
You know what we need more of? You know what the early LNH had a lot of? You know what really brings fanboys and fangirls in? SHIPPING! - LNH20 Comics Presents #4 The Spoon of Destiny Saga Part 4: "Free Shipping With Twenty-Five Dollars' Worth of DOOM!" Chapter 4 of a chaotic add-on cascade
LNH20 Comics Presents #5: The Spoon of Destiny Saga Part 5: "Time and Again" Chapter 5 of a chaotic add-on cascade By Adrian J. McClure *** So now Nerf Girl had faced her first actual net.hero battle. She'd had to fight for her life once before she was technically a net.hero, but now she actually had a name and a costume and was a bona fide card-
In the street next to the Netropolitan Museum of History, Lindsey Gensym was watching the LNH battle the Otakaiser, unnoticed as always. That battle had started right in front of her eyes, right after Dr. Mood had surrendered. Of course, she was also in the room when Dr. Mood initially attacked, and she had, as always, wondered
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LNH20 Comics Presents #11: "The Assassination Squad" Chapter 11 of a chaotic add-on cascade by Martin Phipps The Recovery Man returned to the office that housed Ultravac, the villainous supercomputer that controlled the terrorist group WHATEVER - the World Headquarters for Anarchy, Terrorism, Evil, Vengeance,
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"You have to turn yourself in now!" said Doc Nostalgia. Fearless Leader said something in response but he didn't hear it. "What was that?" Doc Nostalgia motioned for him to pull down the window, and he did so. "You have to turn yourself in now!" he repeated. He whispered. "I don't want to hurt
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