An empty stage, lit from above. From the wings steps a man.
The main is of an ambiguous age, impossible to tell if he's twenty or
thirty, and would probably look even younger if he shaved the goatee
and moustache. Though his glasses are transparent, his eyes are
forever in shadow. He wears a faux-leather longcoat that has
seemingly, impossibly, been tye-dyed, patterns worked straight into the
material. Underneath, he wears a really comfortable-looking woolen
sweater and jeans. In each hand, he holds a space-black knitting
needle, seething and sparkling with cosmic energies. As he speaks, he
walks back and forth across the stage.
"Greetings. I am the Ununnilium Stranger, Paladin of Continuity for
Looniverse-20. I am he who stands and watches, intervening only when
the threads of story are about to snap. But now, my sacred-" *WHAM*
The camera pulls back to show that he has tripped on a banana peel,
falling into a cream pie on a seesaw, causing a bucket of glue to be
dumped on his body and a pillowcase full of chicken feathers to fall
gently upon him.
A beat.
He pushes himself to his feet, muttering "How did Dave ever get
anything done around here?" With as much dignity as he can muster
(only detectable on the most finely calibrated scientific equipment),
he continues.
"In any case... the plot so far."
-
LNH20 Comics Presents #13.13131313...
Spoon of Destiny Saga Recap: Who, Where and Why
A guide to the chaotic add-on cascade
by Andrew Perron
-
*MUSICAL STING*
It is a pretty good time for the LEGION OF NET.HEROES.
They have defeated the alien tomatoes known as the
LYCOPERSICONS and secured the accolades of the city. But
a greater threat lurks...
NERF GIRL: The Legion of Net.Heroes's newest member (at the beginning
of the story, anyway; see below.) The daughter of Sig.Lad and
MechaKat, two of the greatest heroes of the '90s, she has joined just
in time to be swept up in the hunt for...
THE SPOON OF DESTINY: An artifact from immense power, taken long ago
from the Elder Gods. It was secured a long time ago by the LNH, but
now, Spoons seem to be popping up all over the place!
W.H.A.T.E.V.E.R.: The World Headquarters for Anarchy, Terrorism,
Elimination, Vengeance, Evil, and Revenge. A villanous organization,
controlled by ULTIVAC, the evil supercomputer. Along with his
henchpeople, CAT LADY, DOCTOR CONTRAPTION, and ANDREA THE COLLEGE
STUDENT, he has been arranging problems for the Legion in order to
distract and harry them so that they can seize the Spoon unopposed. As
well, the mysterious MOTHER TIME seems to be plotting with them...
"COUNCIL OF ELDERS": FEARLESS LEADER, leader of the LNH; JANUARY FROST,
superhumanly charismatic immortal; and DOC NOSTALGIA, hero of a past
age rebooted. Along with AGENT MEPHITIDAE, the Legion's secret weapon,
and KID ENTHUSIASTIC, even-more-immortal cheerful genius, they decide
the course of the LNH.
MUSEUM TEAM: The team that has gone to defend the Spoon at the
Netropolitan Museum of Art: Nerf Girl, Doc Nostalgia, Kid Enthusiastic,
ULTIMATE MERCENARY, YOU'RE-NOT-HITTING-ME-HARD-ENOUGH-LAD, and NUDIST
MAN. They defeated DOCTOR MOOD almost without effort, only to discover
that he was simply a plant for the OTAKAISER, who used a device powered
by a reality-warping RETCON BALL. Although they brought down the
bureaucratic gaze of DEATH on him, yanking both him and the ball out of
the battle, reality continued to bend around them, even as they entered
the museum...
LINDSEY GENSYM: A net.human who has always wanted to help out with
heroing, but has always lurked on the sidelines, too busy with her MBA,
her career as a musician, the record label she runs, and various other
projects to jump in. However, the appearance of a mysterious, floating
figure has spurred her to leap into the current conflict, and Mother
Time seems to have taken an interest in her...
THE CRANIUM: A super-intelligent mouse discovered by LNHers PRIVATE EYE
and EXPLAIN-THE-JOKE LASS, along with rougish antihero VERY-DISTURBED-
SPARKLY-VAMPIRE MAN. He explained that he fights supervillainy as an
intellectual challenge. He joined the Legion just in time to explain
the strange temporal manipulations that have Doc Nostalgia duplicated
across time periods...
ESPIONAGE SQUAD: The team that has gone after the Spoon hidden away in
the vaults of the Vatican: Agent M, KILLSWITCH, LASS DRAGON,
CONFIGURATION MAN and GIFT-WRAPPING GRANNY. After a battle with the
SWORDS OF PENTIENT AUTHORITY, recovered a Spoon - but not, apparently,
the only Spoon there...
RWTN-T'BOL: An Elder God who was sought out by PROFESSOR PENUMBRA,
MINORITY MISS, TORI, and at least one other LNHer after the Professor
had a vision of the Earth being torn asunder. Rwtn-T'bol revealed that
the Elder Gods are willing to help keep the Spoon from falling into the
wrong hands, sending in their monstrous minions to help, but that if it
does fall to evil, they're willing to destroy the world. It seems to
be in a relationship with cosmic defender THE ROUTER...
THE GRIEFER: A net.hero-turned-antihero-turned-outright-villain,
recruited by ACTON LORD to be a nemesis to Nerf Girl. Has many of the
weapons once belonging to time-traveling legacy hero CATASTROPHE.
GOOGLEMESH: Ancient, immortal hero, leader of the legendary Ancient
Legion and creator of Netropolis and the LNHQ. Was found by the
subgroup of young LNHers known as GENERATION 2.0 and brought to the
LNH, where he was attacked by...
THE RECOVERY MAN: Mysterious electrical life form for hire. Contracted
by W.H.A.T.E.V.E.R. to retrieve the Spoon of Destiny. Deep in the
subbasements of LNHQ, he found THE DRAGON, who would exchange the Spoon
for the skull of Googlemesh. The Dragon lent him *a* Spoon, with which
to take it. Along with the ASSASSINATION SQUAD, he attacks Googlemesh
and Generation 2.0. Both the Recovery Man and W.H.A.T.E.V.E.R. believe
that his spoon is *the* Spoon, but note the actions of...
THE LEMURS: Fleeing the SUPERGUY ALTIVERSES, they travelled to
LOONIVERSE-A. However, captured by the original Legion, they stole
that world's Spoon of Destiny and absconded to LOONIVERSE-20. There,
they were captured by...
THE KIWIS: Who stopped the Lemurs, took the Spoon they had, and threw
it in the Dragon's manure pile....
BRIAN THE OBJECTIVIST PIZZA DELIVERY BOY: Delivered a hundred Meat
Lover's pizzas to The Dragon, and was paid off with a simple white
plastic spoon...
MISTER MORRISON: A being from the 16-dimensional infosphere of
Hexworld, sent by the Elder Gods as an emissary to Netropolis. Is
currently causing chaos, like turning Doc Nostalgia into a Muppet,
bending time and space, and causing the city of NETROPOLIS to float in
midair...
NETROPOLIS: In midair.
SPOONS: One at the Netropolitan Museum of Art, one recovered by the
Espionage Squad, one still in the form of the key of GIOELE, guard at
the Vatican, one given to the Recovery Man, and one in the hands of
Brian. As well, one hinted at by Mother Time...
OTHERS: Well, there's KINDLE, OTHERKIN LAD, TOO-MUCH-TIME-ON-HIS-HANDS
LAD, PROJECT AGAMEMNON, LAWRENCE HERRERA, TOMMASO, the SOUS-CHEF
SUPREME, PANTRA, LORD @ZRAEL, the ACTON LORD DYNASTY...
"It is quite a large world," intoned the Ununnilium Stranger. "Far be
it from me to reveal *all* its secrets. He tipped his hat, paused when
he realized he wasn't *wearing* a hat, nodded, and walked offstage.
Ununnilium "THAT COSMIC GUY" "Not The Dvandom" Stranger, ever notice
how many immortals we have in this universe? I think it may be an
effect of the wildness of the Deleteforce.
[I split this into two parts to keep readers from being crushed beneath a wall of text. The second part goes up tomorrow.] About 20 years ago, on the now-defunct newsgroup called rec.arts.comics, a bunch of people started making up goofy superhero names for themselves. This spawned an in-joke based roleplay that
[Continued from yesterday...] Three people sat alone in a conference room. One was Fearless Leader. Another was a muscular, square-jawed man with hair of an odd blue- black hue, dressed in jeans and a faded, distressed T-shirt with "DN" in a circle on it. The third was a distractingly beautiful brunette
LNH20 Comics Presents #1 - A View From The Twisted Library copyright 2011 by Dave Van Domelen [Part of the LNH20 Comics Presents #1 Chaotic Add-On - Ed, who missed this place.] Acton Lord, fifth to carry the title (although the public knew of only three, and some suspected all three were the same man kept alive by techno-
The man before him, hovering slightly off the ground, fumed. He was
scrawny and pale, with dishwater-blond hair. He looked to be around
college-aged, and was dressed in an immaculately tailored suit one size too
large for him. "That's *Death*, not that you didn't know. I was hoping to
actually do my job today, but now I see that that won't be possible."
A small group of LNH members was walking through a psychedelic landscape, on paths of tentacles and goo and thread and ice and sometimes nothing but light, crossing portals that looked like giant open mouths, cuts ripped into air, whirlpools, floating crystals, balls of light, or even rectangles scrawled in charcoal; walking past
LNH20 Comics Presents #2: The Spoon of Destiny Saga: "Re-animations and Revelations" Chapter 2 of a chaotic add-on cascade by Adrian J. McClure, Andrew Perron, Martin Phipps and Dave Van Domelan *** Dr. Mood had been at the Netropolitan Museum of Art looking for the Spoon of Destiny when five Legionaires (Doc Nostalgia, Nudist Man,
You know what we need more of? You know what the early LNH had a lot of? You know what really brings fanboys and fangirls in? SHIPPING! - LNH20 Comics Presents #4 The Spoon of Destiny Saga Part 4: "Free Shipping With Twenty-Five Dollars' Worth of DOOM!" Chapter 4 of a chaotic add-on cascade
LNH20 Comics Presents #5: The Spoon of Destiny Saga Part 5: "Time and Again" Chapter 5 of a chaotic add-on cascade By Adrian J. McClure *** So now Nerf Girl had faced her first actual net.hero battle. She'd had to fight for her life once before she was technically a net.hero, but now she actually had a name and a costume and was a bona fide card-
"Coming To Grief" A High Concept Challenge 24-Minute Story in the LNH20 (Legion of Net.Heroes 20th Anniversary) universe copyright 2011 by Dave Van Domelen
In the street next to the Netropolitan Museum of History, Lindsey Gensym was watching the LNH battle the Otakaiser, unnoticed as always. That battle had started right in front of her eyes, right after Dr. Mood had surrendered. Of course, she was also in the room when Dr. Mood initially attacked, and she had, as always, wondered
LNH20 Comics Presents #7 'Exactly Where We Can Grab It' which is chapter 7 of a chaotic add-on cascade written by and copyright 2012 Saxon Brenton Once again a man entered the air conditioned office that housed Ultravac, the villainous supercomputer that controlled the terrorist
- LNH20 Comics Presents #8 The Spoon of Destiny Saga Part 8: "Not a 24 Parody" Chapter 8 of a chaotic add-on cascade Part of High Concept Challenge 26! By Andrew Perron - Lindsey Gensym rushed into the Netropolitan Museum of History and stopped short. The sunlight through the windows outside seemed... odd, flat...
LNH20 Comics Presents #9: "Draco Dormiens" Chapter 9 of a chaotic add-on cascade by Adrian J. McClure Note: this issue takes place immediately before Clueless Lad Team-Up *** It was almost midnight at the waterfront district; the rain was pouring down and the sky was dismal and starless. Brian was not having
"The Spoon of Destiny Saga Part 10: "Switch Play""
by Andrew Perron
LNH20 Comics Presents #10 The Spoon of Destiny Saga Part 10: "Switch Play" Chapter 10 of a chaotic add-on cascade By Andrew Perron - Far from the LNHQ's sub-basements, in a very different set of labyrinthine catacombs, deep beneath the Vatican... And "labyrinthine" was no exaggeration, thought Killswitch. The Espionage
LNH20 Comics Presents #11: "The Assassination Squad" Chapter 11 of a chaotic add-on cascade by Martin Phipps The Recovery Man returned to the office that housed Ultravac, the villainous supercomputer that controlled the terrorist group WHATEVER - the World Headquarters for Anarchy, Terrorism, Evil, Vengeance,
LNH20 Comics Presents #12: "Chaos Reigns" Chapter 12 of a chaotic add-on cascade (though probably something more like 20 if you count all the crossovers in other series) by Adrian J. McClure Lawrence Herrera, age 45, single, recently laid off from his job as department store manager, was the first to notice it. He was leaving
Agent M was piloting her flight.thingy on approach to LNH HQ in Netropolis. She was bringing her espionage Squad back home after they had retrieved the Spoon of Destiny from a museum in Italy. (See LNH20 Comics Presents #10.) "Okay, everybody," she said. "Seat belts on. We're on approach to
PREFACE: Since Adrian's almost done with LNH Comics Presents #15, I thought I'd repost the story to date. How's about three issues per day 'til we catch up? .p°w°q. About 20 years ago, on the now-defunct newsgroup called rec.arts.comics, a bunch of people started making up goofy superhero
LNH20 Comics Presents #2: The Spoon of Destiny Saga: "Re-animations and Revelations" Chapter 2 of a chaotic add-on cascade by Adrian J. McClure, Andrew Perron, Martin Phipps and Dave Van Domelan *** Dr. Mood had been at the Netropolitan Museum of Art looking for the Spoon of Destiny when five Legionaires (Doc Nostalgia, Nudist Man,
A small group of LNH members was walking through a psychedelic landscape, on paths of tentacles and goo and thread and ice and sometimes nothing but light, crossing portals that looked like giant open mouths, cuts ripped into air, whirlpools, floating crystals, balls of light, or even rectangles scrawled in charcoal; walking past
You know what we need more of? You know what the early LNH had a lot of? You know what really brings fanboys and fangirls in? SHIPPING! - LNH20 Comics Presents #4 The Spoon of Destiny Saga Part 4: "Free Shipping With Twenty-Five Dollars' Worth of DOOM!" Chapter 4 of a chaotic add-on cascade
LNH20 Comics Presents #5: The Spoon of Destiny Saga Part 5: "Time and Again" Chapter 5 of a chaotic add-on cascade By Adrian J. McClure *** So now Nerf Girl had faced her first actual net.hero battle. She'd had to fight for her life once before she was technically a net.hero, but now she actually had a name and a costume and was a bona fide card-
In the street next to the Netropolitan Museum of History, Lindsey Gensym was watching the LNH battle the Otakaiser, unnoticed as always. That battle had started right in front of her eyes, right after Dr. Mood had surrendered. Of course, she was also in the room when Dr. Mood initially attacked, and she had, as always, wondered
LNH20 Comics Presents #7 'Exactly Where We Can Grab It' which is chapter 7 of a chaotic add-on cascade written by and copyright 2012 Saxon Brenton Once again a man entered the air conditioned office that housed Ultravac, the villainous supercomputer that controlled the terrorist group WHATEVER - the World Headquarters for Anarchy, Terrorism, Evil,
- LNH20 Comics Presents #8 The Spoon of Destiny Saga Part 8: "Not a 24 Parody" Chapter 8 of a chaotic add-on cascade Part of High Concept Challenge 26! By Andrew Perron - Lindsey Gensym rushed into the Netropolitan Museum of History and stopped short. The sunlight through the windows outside seemed... odd, flat...
LNH20 Comics Presents #9: "Draco Dormiens" Chapter 9 of a chaotic add-on cascade by Adrian J. McClure Note: this issue takes place immediately before Clueless Lad Team-Up *** It was almost midnight at the waterfront district; the rain was pouring down and the sky was dismal and starless. Brian was not having
LNH20 Comics Presents #10 The Spoon of Destiny Saga Part 10: "Switch Play" Chapter 10 of a chaotic add-on cascade By Andrew Perron - Far from the LNHQ's sub-basements, in a very different set of labyrinthine catacombs, deep beneath the Vatican... And "labyrinthine" was no exaggeration, thought Killswitch. The Espionage
LNH20 Comics Presents #11: "The Assassination Squad" Chapter 11 of a chaotic add-on cascade by Martin Phipps The Recovery Man returned to the office that housed Ultravac, the villainous supercomputer that controlled the terrorist group WHATEVER - the World Headquarters for Anarchy, Terrorism, Evil, Vengeance,
LNH20 Comics Presents #12: "Chaos Reigns" Chapter 12 of a chaotic add-on cascade (though probably something more like 20 if you count all the crossovers in other series) by Adrian J. McClure Lawrence Herrera, age 45, single, recently laid off from his job as department store manager, was the first to notice it. He was leaving
Agent M was piloting her flight.thingy on approach to LNH HQ in Netropolis. She was bringing her espionage Squad back home after they had retrieved the Spoon of Destiny from a museum in Italy. (See LNH20 Comics Presents #10.) "Okay, everybody," she said. "Seat belts on. We're on approach to
LNH20 Comics Presents #14 The Spoon of Destiny Saga Part 14: "What Happens Next" Chapter 14 of a chaotic add-on cascade By Andrew Perron - Within the well-furnished but suddenly-shifting rooms of the Netropolitan Museum of History, Nerf Girl picked up the Sword that she had drawn from the styrofoam Stone and attempted to hold it in a simple
LNH Comics Presents #15 "Better Late than Never" by Adrian McClure co-plotted with Andrew Perron **** THE LNHQ, THE PRESENT, TO THE EXTENT THAT TIME AND SPACE HAVE ANY MEANING ANYMORE Professor Penumbra walked into the conference room. "Sorry to be so late, something came up at the last minute. I can't leave this city
"The Spoon of Destiny Saga Part 16: "You Too Are Mortal""
by Andrew Perron
LNH20 Comics Presents #16 The Spoon of Destiny Saga Part 16: "You Too Are Mortal" Chapter 16 in a chaotic add-on cascade By Andrew Perron - Netropolis! Specifically, the neighborhood of New Bundelkhand, founded by Captain Nemo after he was brought forward in time by the Network in 1967,
What Has Gone Before: ... Doc Nostalgia pressed some buttons on his chair; a series of indicators appeared on screen. "Of course! The city is giving off twice as much retcotheric energy as @Lantis's power core! And it's also disrupting time and space! Wait just a minute... where are the LNHers who found Cranium?"
LNH20 Comics Presents #18 The Spoon of Destiny Saga Part 18: "Rising Action" Chapter 18 in a chaotic add-on cascade Part of LNH RETURN! By Andrew Perron - Deep within W.H.A.T.E.V.E.R.'s secret headquarters, Andrea watched a room full of lights flash on and off, reels of magnetic tape spinning fu
"You have to turn yourself in now!" said Doc Nostalgia. Fearless Leader said something in response but he didn't hear it. "What was that?" Doc Nostalgia motioned for him to pull down the window, and he did so. "You have to turn yourself in now!" he repeated. He whispered. "I don't want to hurt
Over five years ago, on the somehow still-existing newsgroup called rec.arts.comics.creative, a bunch of people decided to make a new LNH world to celebrate its 20th anniversary, because why not. This spawned a surprisingly elaborate superhero and complex shared universe that never quite died