The Super Wizard From Space #2

"The Great Disaster, Part 2" by


Somewhere in an invisible galaxy, a secret meeting of the seven
super-civilizations of outer space has been organized to discuss the
recent cosmic genocide against two mythic space-races.

In a pitch black room, a giant neon-green hologram was showing a
forested planet orbiting a twin star system. A crack started at the
top and circled the entire sphere until it met on the other side.
After a few seconds, a fat red circle appeared on the green crack
labelling millions of simultaneous stress points and disaster areas.
Finally, the entire planet cracked in half, the edges crumbling to
ragged chunky edges, and the red danger circles filled up the entire

With a disgusted wave, the hologram was cleared and the projector
switched off. The lights came back up, casting an ethereal glow on the
circular chamber constructed entirely of white marble and white
diamonds. The chamber was built on future-fractal principals, making
it intimate in size yet able to hold exactly a million representatives
of each of the seven super-civilizations at once.

Seven million sentient creatures, all the magnificent pinnacles of
super-evolution, and all of them stunned at what they had just been
shown. Super-genocide on a scale unseen for countless space-centuries.
There were long, awkward moments before the silence was finally

"What a jerk."

All eyes suddenly turned to the one who has spoken, the Super-Devil of
Double-Hell. He was a monstrously, giant humanoid all red in color
with cloven hooves for feet and two huge hooked horns sprouting from
his forehead. Star-fire burst menacingly from his mouth and eye
sockets as he glared at everyone.

"What? You saw what he did."

The chamber exploded into seven million arguments at once, all
debating the best course of action against the celestial being that
had wiped out two mythic space-races.

"Enough, be obmutescent all!" boomed the thunderous voice of the
Secret Living Language, automatically heard and understood by all
sentient creatures in the room. "We will not oppugn amongst ourselves
like puerile euarchontoglires. This is a cosmic crime of the most
mortiferous genus."

"Well, I certainly hope you will not be holding us, the immortal race
of Super-Wizards From Space, responsible for the action of a single
insane rogue." A million powerful men dressed in the same blue and
gold suit stared at the other super-races.

The Super-Devil was suddenly surrounded by flames and magma, his fury
burst from him in physical form. "Not responsible? You arrogant
assholes! He's YOUR space-champion!"

"Yesszzz," agreed the million choreographed voices of a swarm of giant
bees. "You do not sszzzeee OUR sszzzpace-champion cracking planetsszzz
open when it sszzzuits her!"

"We are antipathetic but must acquiesce with our apoidean allies,"
said the Secret Living Language, "some super-races have inaugurated
super-space-war for lesser apologia."

"Is that a threat?" shouted one of the Super Wizards From Space as he
clenched his fists and started to glow with a menacing black light.
Several of his compatriots stood forward, they too starting to cast
the same black light, ready to tear down the hyper dimensional

"No, but perhaps it is a challenge," said a soft-spoken figure in the
back. "Like a rude oyster hiding a pearl of wisdom; a challenge of
space-champions." Dressed in plain orange clothing with a hood over
his bald head, he was hovering a few feet off the marble floor,
cross-legged in a serene lotus position.

"What are you talking about?" demanded the Super Devil.

Uncrossing his legs, the orange-clad figure gracefully lowered himself
to the floor standing on bare feet. The multitude of other similarly
dressed individuals continued with their prayers and meditations,
occasionally humming, occasionally ringing a series of gongs in
perfect space-harmony. "Despite his recent outbursts, he is still a
super-champion for a super-civilization; a silver-plated blade cutting
down the falling leaves of autumn. Any of our own races'
super-champions can challenge him to combat without risking the
political turmoil of the frightful winter."

There was a long silent murmuring throughout the chamber as every
single individual in the room discussed the idea. The awkward silence
however was soon turning into a general chorus of agreement.

"The monks' injunction is mesmeric."

"It isszzz a sszzzounder sszzzolution that sszzzuper-sszzzpace-war."

"I wouldn't mind putting cloven hoof to ass to that douchebag."

All one million of the Super Wizards From Space looked at
themselves, then relaxed, letting their power fade away with the black
light. What choice did they have but to accept? They could not allow
one of their own to run rampant in the universe unleashing such a
violently final brand of punishment. "Very well, we agree. A
tournament, then, to end this rampage. But you have witnessed the
power at his disposal. He has a billion, billion years of our
science-sorcery at his command. Will all you great super-civilizations
commit your super-champions to this?"

The orange clad individual lowered his hood and struck a series of
fast, deadly martial-arts poses. A million golden gongs were
struck at once. "The Invisible Monks accept this challenge!" they all
cried out as one voice.

"The Secret Living Language is inclined to acquiesce to this request."

A mass of gauze-covered machines and computers interlinked and formed
a network, finding amongst their scraps and pieces enough
working speakers to dictate a moaning, mechanical assent.
, end-statement. We-are-in-boolean-agreement-with-the-proposal,
end-statement, end-sub-routine."

In a shimmering blue phosphorescence that was only in the room in a
spiritual sense, the ethereal presence of a school of a million
phantom fish telepathically rung as well. "Yes! Yes! Us as well!
Accepted! The Infinite Schools of Infinite Oceans!"

A massive yellow swarm bunched together, their already large size
individually becoming terrifying en masse. "We alsszzzo acczzzept the
challenge. This monsszzzter will not defeat the Monsszzzter Beesszzz
of Queen Buzzzzz!" They beat their wings hard enough to echo as
thunder against the white marble walls.

"You droning dickwads won't get the chance," said the Super Devil,
liquid fire and sulphur pouring from his splitting grin, seven million
tortured hell-souls wailing in agony as the flood spilled on them and
burned away their flesh. "Double-Hell is jumping on this bandwagon.
I'm going to get first whack at this Super Wizard asshole!

"By this space-time next week, I'll have him screaming in eternal
misery in a savage under-realm where your simple mortal concepts of
evil are just more hopeful mercies we take pleasure in stamping out!

Wil Alambre, follow me on Twitter at http://twitter.com/wilalambre