"The Tragedy Of Sharkasaurus Rex, Part 2"
by Wil Alambre
It took nearly every ghost fish of the infinite school to confidently
herd Sharkasaurus Rex into the depths of the invisible galaxy. The
megalodon's monstrous instincts were near impossible to fully
understand, a hundred million space-years of predatory instinct and
insatiable hunger. The spectral school's entire telepathic concentration
was being used to focus those simple bloody thoughts, to steer the
massive shark to the desired destination. It was incredibly slow going,
as even the slightest slip by any one of the ghost fish caused Rex to
loosen and snap at his surroundings.
The Super Wizard From Space led the infinite school to the inner edge of
a difficult to see galactic spiral, where a single fat grey planet spun
around a bright blue star. He assisted the ghost fish in shepherding
Sharkasaurus Rex into orbit, the school of phantasmal fish creating a
wide ring around the world. Once he was confident they had the megalodon
securely in a regular circling run, he dived into the atmosphere with
only the rainbow fish Geisel and Theodor accompanying him. They could
not risk any others if they wanted to maintain control over Sharkasaurus
Rex.
Flying through the sky in a cocoon of pale starlight, the super wizard
passed over a tranquil landscape of lush green forests, long rich rice
fields, simple triangular buildings made of red wood, and a constant
fresh mist that covered everything but the very tallest mountains. The
entire world had an ethereal feel to it, making the lowlands almost
unreal in the grey fog and the crystal clear peaks stand out in sharp
contrast. In the distance, acting as a guiding signal, a regular
repetitive ringing tone could be heard across the hemisphere.
At the most perfect point on the equator stood the two tallest mountains
on the entire world. Hanging between the two colossal peaks was a huge
metal gong, a mile in diameter and suspended in the valley by a million
crisscrossing ropes. An incredibly long rope bridge ran across the front
of it and, directly at the centre, a lone figure was lightly striking
the exact centre, causing the ringing tone. The pitch perfect note
visibly rippled in the mist.
The super wizard landed gently on the rope bridge beside the figure. It
was nine feet tall, had gently round lizard features and gigantic golden
gecko eyes. It wore the yellow orange robes of a simple monk, fist-sized
glass beads around it's neck, and wooden sandals. And hovering over it's
head, glowing a tranquil hypnotizing blue, was a wide flat cone
seemingly made of simple straw. When it saw the wizard, he placed the
small hammer he held in a slot built into the bridge, then turned and
formally bowed.
"A number of incredibly respectful salutations. Welcome to the invisible
galaxy, and to the planet of Amity. I trust you were able to navigate
through the dreaded emptiness of space unerringly thanks to the Gong
Ago, our massive metal instrument. If struck correctly, it is said it's
faultless pitch can be heard in every plane of existence.
"Allow me to be the introduction to this momentous space-occasion.
Though my mastery of our space kung-fu has made me completely unseeable
to you, like crystal clear water on the stillest of days, on my honour I
assure you that I am the most venerable master hero Brody Dharma, space
champion of the invisible monks."
The super wizard looked over the tall lizard in silent consideration,
then awkwardly returned the bow. "Thank you for your hospitality. You
know who I am?"
The lizard stood up and beamed with a wide grin. "Oh yes, with most
definite certainty. You are known throughout several material universes
by many names. Some of them a fearful whisper in the dark. Some of them
a panicked cry into the heavens. But here, in my humble hyper-monastery,
I will know you as... my guest."
The two ghostly rainbow fish slowly circled Brody Dharma, occasionally
fading way in the thin air, other times coming into colourful focus. The
monk only chuckled cheerfully at the spectacle. "Ho ho ho! What
delightful specimens of Rex's school! Their contrasting opinions are a
wondrous explosion of experience in my mind's eye!"
He watched them spin around him a bit, like an adult might watch a puppy
chase it's tail, then looked up at the sky. The ring of spectral sea
life in orbit was visible as a wide hazy band stretching horizon to
horizon. His smile turned to sadness. "Is Rex up there?"
"Yes yes yes!" said Geisel, doing a proud loop-de-loop. "Mighty Rex! And
his infinite school! In his infinite ocean! For all to see!"
"To see him now. As he is. Not as he was," said Theodor, doing a low
heavy dip. "Hungry Rex. Murdering Rex. We were his students. Now we hold
his leash."
A blue green tear welled in one golden gecko eye. "It breaks my heart to
finally be meeting this great space-legend under such harrowing
circumstances. My father told me wondrous stories of Sharkasaurus Rex,
including one fantastical tale when they together saved the math-whale
Moebius Dick from an obsessive pirate." { The Adventures of Buddy Dharma
#2 }
"He was the best of us," the super wizard agreed.
The fish were appreciatively silent.
Brody Dharma sniffled, then recomposed himself as best as he could
manage. "But you all have journeyed far and long. You must join me at
the hall on the peak, where our other guests are awaiting."
"Others? More?" asked Geisel.
"Ho ho ho! Oh yes, absolutely," said Brody Dharma cheerfully, starting
across the bridge toward one of the mountain peaks, and waving at the
super wizard to follow. "Not often have I had such important visitors to
Amity. The invisible monks have put aside their meditations for the
occasion and are even now awaiting our arrival in the fractal hall."
The small group spent the rest of the space-day on a slow trek across
the rickety bridge. The blue light of the sun reflecting off the bronze
of the massive gong, painting the surface of the opaque mist slices of
green and orange and yellow, like a half dozen alien sunsets had melted
into the atmosphere.
As the super wizard got closer to the peak he realized it wasn't a
mountain at all, but an ancient shrine, incredibly tall. This close he
could make out the sloping curved roofs at each layer, the aged wooden
balconies, the sliding doors that hid innumerable rooms on innumerable
floors. Over the long long centuries the building had been rebuilt with
stone, covered in moss, worn away by the weather. Forests had sprung up
along its massive side and snow drifts had collected on the top
canopies, melting and finding paths between collapsed sections and
sculpted routes to form falling springs.
The wooden bridge terminated on a dock of sort, where it was anchored to
great red oak trees a hundred feet wide. On the wide wooden landing, a
number of orange robed monks stood respectfully, hoods over their bald
heads.
The religious men simultaneously struck the little silver gongs they
each held and shouted out introductions in unison.
Bong. "Religious lizard; on his brow, the peasant's straw; transparent
master!"
Bong. "Wizard of science; on his brow, the baron's oath; judge of all
evil!"
Geisel seemed to flicker to almost complete solidity with each tone, an
experience that caused him to broadcast thoughts of excitement and
curiosity. "I like the little cymbals! They make my not-ears happy!"
"This way, please," motioned Brody Dharma further into the shrine. He
led them through musky hallways of faded paint and beaded curtains and
parchment portraits of what must have been former master heroes of
Amity. Followed by a small retinue of the gong-carrying monks, the group
eventually came down a spiral staircase and emerged in a circular
chamber constructed entirely of white marble and white diamonds.
The chamber was built on future-fractal principals, making it intimate
in size yet able to hold millions of people if need be. Currently, it
held only three individuals, all with a brightly lit headpiece hovering
over each of their heads.
Brody Dharma paused and made grand sweep, introducing the three. "With
the humblest of honours, may I present to you Emperor-M of the Mummy
Machines of Planet-M...
Bong. "Resurrected tool; on it's brow, the kingly choice; machine beyond
death!" The robot lurched ungainly, servos making an uneven clicking as
they kept the broken machine held up, the ghostly pschent floating just
above it's bandaged head.
"...the Secret Living Language..."
Bong. "Concept and creature; on it's brow, the blacksmith's craft; every
word alive!" Originally made up of a single sentient idea, it had been
described and defined enough by various scientific researchers to gain
it's own vocabulary. Now it was a super civilization in and of itself,
made up of a secret language, with every word, sentence, and punctation
both a citizen and a part of the whole.
"...and finally, her majesty Queen Buzz of the Monster Bees."
Bong. "Insect royalty; on her brow, the prisoner's chains; swarm and
queen and hive!" A tall humanoid woman, regally dressed in a
conservative striped gown. She had tightly pulled-back hair and wore a
broad cavalier hat, a single grand feather standing straight up from the
band. She seemed to be completely composed of a partially-clear yellow
gelatin that occasionally crackled with a faint shock.
When the entourage of monks completed their rhythmic introductions,
Geisel and Theodor blasted the room with darkly coloured thoughts of
anger and assault.
Before anyone could react, the two ghost fish charged the yellow woman
and struck passed through her semi-liquid form.
They attacked with psychic blows powerful enough to burst her instantly.
Queen Buzz was gone. Only sticky chunky puddles remained.
.........................................
Wil Alambre, follow me on Twitter at http://twitter.com/wilalambre
"Hurry, uni-scribe! We have less than one space-hour to get to the
negotiating table before the Great Disaster arrives!" The desperate uni-diplomat paced back and forth in the room. He kept
looking at the space-clock, watching the moments tick away and
whinnying quietly under his breath. The light in the room was starting
to fade away as ominous clouds rolled in, covered up the twin suns. It
was as if the very planet understood the impending doom and was losing
hope.
"Very well, we agree. A tournament, then, to end this rampage. But you have witnessed the power at his disposal. He has a billion billion years of our science-sorcery at his command. Will all you great super-civilizations commit your super-champions to this?"
On a distant world, a mummy-robot and a brown-robed monk silently made their way to the center of a blasphemous cathedral. Though the robot lurched ungainly, it's servos making an uneven whirring sound as they moved the broken machine through black-stone hallways, it held it's bandaged head high, the ghostly
Cocytus the demon-glacier had the Super Wizard From Space engulfed in its icy grasp, forever to be a frozen prisoner of the ninth circle of Hell. Meanwhile the victorious Devil stood atop the massive field of ice, grateful to be back home. The Devil tilted his head back, closed his eyes, and just basked
On a filthy cobblestone hell-road outside the infinite walls of Double-Dis, the Super Wizard From Space stared up at the triumphant face of the Super-Devil. The monster's massive grin dribbled thick lava as he shouted out "Hey there, jerks! Welcome to Double-Hell!"
In the ruins of an ancient city of pillars, an alien octopus pointed eight dangerous looking ray-guns at a white-bearded hermit. "You best be giving me that there data-cylinder, Gavrilo, or I'll vaporize you right where you stand, I done swear it!"
Two figures hurtled through a scarred green warp tunnel underneath the skin of the universe toward the lost planet of the silver skull machine. The Super Wizard From Space was leading the way, encased in a cocoon of hard light that protected him from the rigors of space travel. His companion, a filthy bearded hermit,
The Super Wizard From Space and the Hermit Wizard From Space were trapped in an asteroid belt by a swarm of gigantic space-bees! As it's fellow drones circled uniformly, one particularly grusome space-bee broken from the formation. It was as massive as any of the drifting asteroids, it's gigantic yellow black body big enough to drag smaller free-floating
A monstrously giant bee made of hollow electricity used its clawed legs to peel open the hull of the crashed rocket-ship. It glowed brightly with a pale light, partially transparent and seemingly fragile as it opened up the armored cockpit as if it was made of tinfoil. The ship's two occupants didn't even have a moment to shake off the shock before
The two super wizards stood stock still as the two floors of the building above them were eaten by the ghost of a cosmic megalodon. Bigger than a rocket-ship, it nonetheless hung effortlessly in the air, it's fifty-five rows of cleaver-like teeth surrounding their room as it floated vertically above them. The daylight of the alien sky shone
I am Theodor. I am a rainbow blue fish. I lived on a planet far away. Then I died. But that is was not the end. That was the beginning. I became a ghost. I became part of the infinite school. Thanks to wise Rex. This is the story of Rex. He is big fish. A big shark. Many sizes big. From a far away blue
"Oh dear me!" shouted Brody Dharma to the marble diamond hall, his gecko eyes spinning in shock as the ghostly forms of Geisel and Theodor circled over the sticky yellow remains of Queen Buzz. "Fish! Please! Contain yourselves!" "Tyrant!" flared out Geisel angrily, telepathically sharing horrific
"Master hero! Master hero!" cried out the young boy, frantic enough to ignore his disciplined training. "A terrible occurrence! The infinite school have lost their hold on their grisly teacher! The cosmic crown reacted suddenly and cut off their psychic leashes! Sharkasaurus Rex is loose!". The young boy wildly rang the same small gong all the monks in this
Geisel was gone, his phantasmal form torn apart in savage fury by the recently de-crowned Sharkasaurus Rex. The equally ethereal Theodor watched the entire sudden rending in still shock. As did the rest of the infinite school, millions of fellow ghost fish that had all gathered to psychically leash the mighty megalodon.
"Sharkasaurus Rex is feeding on the simple people of this planet," said the
Super Wizard From Space, pointing to where a sticky-looking red hue spread in
the red mist for a space-minute before the fin moved on. "He's converting their
psyches into spiritual mass, growing exponentially. This incredible instrument
is our only hope."
He was lying on the ground. Still at the top of the mountain
monastery. Yes, he was certain of it. There was no mistaking. He
remembered the feel of these particular stones. And the scent of that
particular moss. But he could not remember how he had came here. It
was like his mind was rattling around in his head while at the same
time trying to swell larger than his skull could contain.
I warned him not to use the Gong Ago, as the volume required from that sacred instrument would have unintended side effects. But like an old mule wearing ragged blinders, he rung it out anyway. And that powerful pitch has freed me and my like-minded brethren. My name is Andy Dharma. I am the master villain of the Invisible Monks.
In a clearing at the center, a nine-foot lizards bowed respectfully to his duplicate. He dressed the same way. He moved with the same simple grace. He stood with the same relaxed posture. And he looked back at him with the same calculating eyes, measuring the short distance between them, judging the smallest of movements.
"You are unbalanczed. You cannot be truszted with coszmic power." Her hand closed into a fist and squeezed. From every direction, the spectral fish tossed out their determination in crisscrossing grey lines, trying to ensnare his mind.
"Andy, don't do this," whispered Brody, "You can't." "Yes I can! Yes I will!" he shouted back at him. "No more bad habits disguised as tradition! No more of yesterday's rules deciding today's fate! I will show you what change can accomplish!" He spat on the floor in disgust, and backflipped off the balcony.
On the side of a small lake, a simple man was fishing off the end of a rickety dock. The lake was usually a clear blue, filled with many delicious fish. It was not so now. It was murky, tinted pink and red, the fish preferring to stay closer to the bottom, where the water was cleaner and lines could rarely reach. It meant the man would be lucky for even a small catch, but that would be enough. He lived alone on this shore, in his cabin up the hill, and had only himself to feed.
He wiped his hands on his bloody apron, then stroked his long grey beard with a smile. It was with great experience that he could judge the quality and balance of a blade and in all the experience, he had never worked with such magnificent instruments.
A portion of empty space bubbled and bulged, like plastic melting in a fire, then peeled away to reveal the spitting green end of a warp tunnel. Wrapped and protected in a cocoon of pale starlight, the Super Wizard From Space blasted out of the tunnel opening at incredible speed. The wound in black reality mended behind him with a practiced flick of
Sharp super-lightening split across a sick dry sky as a lone yellow cab pulled up in front of a long abandoned university. The pale driver scratched at his unkept beard. Hunched over the steering wheel, he got a better look through the windshield at the derelict campus. "You sure this is where you wanna to be?" he gruffly asked the passenger in the back seat.
"I will not tolerate your
presence here. Nor your trickery. I will burn away every molecule. I
will crack every atom. I will unravel your infernal form down to the
minimalist components and grind the remains under my boot."
"Once upon a time, five dark lords of multiple underverses made the mistake of signing a series of magical contracts in an attempt to insure some level of trust between them. Inevitably, all five of them went back on their words and now the tangled wording of those contracts have trapped them in the stone sepulchres of Quinto-Hell."
The ashen remains of the gorgon sunk into the circling river of molten rock and disappeared down the sinkhole in reality, pulled toward the punishments of Triple-Hell. A bleating car horn sounded. The Devil tugged at the wizard's shoulder. "Come along, guv. Our ride awaits."
Somewhere in the dank musky darkness swamp, a single snapping growl was followed up by a chorus of hungry grumbles and hollers and howls. Jagged trunks of twisted trees creaked and cracked as something massive pushed through. Huge lungs filled up and expelled, making for a thunderous breathy bass echo.
Black glass and brittle shale and oddly shaped boulders all bashed against each other in the tornado ferocity of the space between conceptual realities. Every small piece was both nonexistant and an immense solidity to itself, dragging and throwing and colliding with its surroundings as the entire mess fell through infinite layers of fractal
Looking about, he could see endless desert interrupted by black stone squares, similar to the one they were taking refuge on. A long wind was blowing, picking up loose dunes, shifting them up and over and around in an ever-moving landscape. It gave everything a burnt look, a rising sea of sand that just faded without an horizon. The only thing cutting through the leather-colored sky was the sun, massive and oversized, ten times larger than it should be.
The Devil, The Secret Living Language, and the Super Wizard From Space stood upon a massive square of black stone half buried in blistering desert sands. "This is it, end of the line," the Devil announced.
In the seedy bowels of a seedy mining camp, Cephalo Paul roused from blurriness to found himself at the mercy of an unkindness of anthropomorphic ravens. The lot of them stood on four clawed talons, spoke through horrifying beaks lined with serrated edges, and had too many ruby-coloured eyes.
"My name is senior lieutenant Yuri Gigan Topithecus, last survivor of the once-mighty space-sasquatch race. I was a hero of my people and a triumph of my government, becoming the first of my planet to journey into outer space... and as I completed my first orbit in my prototype capsule, I helplessly watched the Super Wizard From Space destroy my world."
The Super Wizard From Space towed his wounded prisoner to a dying system in a lonely constellation. It was a place that had been full and vibrant when the universe was young, a very long time ago. Now, it's small, dense white star bled away its diminishing heat and weak light into empty space.
Across the vastness of galaxies, a nameless forager bee achieves a stable geosynchronous orbit with distant Planet M. The ladened insect has been in contact with appropriate representatives, has deposited it cargo. It now maintains a microwave relay with the surface, and only awaits permission from the Hive to open communications.
"I-hereby-challenge-the-Super- Wizard-From-Space-to-combat," spits out Emperor M, the bile broadcasted from his loudspeaker face, "and-you'll-bear-witness-to-it , you- insufferable-bitch."
In the clarity of the desert night, a single point of light smolders against the blue-black curtain. And it slowly grows the closer it gets, falling toward Us through immense distances. The Super Wizard From Space is coming to Planet M.
Emperor gestures back to the great monolith and declares, "At-the-behest-of-our-electronic-ennead, I've-entombed-the-Super-Wizard-From-Space-within-the-Pyramids-Of-Ka! His-power-will-feed-our-preservation-batteries-for-countless-cycles."
"The Szuper Wizard From Szpace is sztill alive. And He sztill has Hisz coszmic crown." We say it aloud. Not to anyone. To ourselves, as swirling shaking thoughts become cold and real. This is real. This is happening. "Why? Why have you done thisz?"
If you'll indulge me, I'll tell you a story about how some people ( who were much too smart for their own good, I'm afraid ) tried to find an easy, quick solution; by doing so, they doomed countless lives to AGES of suffering.
Now, I was halfway through a tale about countless doomed lives... and yes, my friend, I do know the difference between 'countless' and 'seven'. Those tragic academics were only the first direct victims of these newly formed cosmic crowns. What happened next was intended to prevent more loss of life, but it actually placed the entire universe in peril.
"Hello Dragutin. I wouldn't be here if things weren't desperate. But things are desperate, and seeing as you're partially to blame, I think it appropriate to give you the chance to resolve it."
Vaso sneers at the world below. "I don't trust Sixth Columnists, General. They're an unstable bunch, every lot of them. And they splintering apart. Hard to be sure what bent their worship takes."
"A swarm! A monster swarm! Oh! Oh gods, they were everywhere. They killed everyone. They stabbed them and killed them. And the dead changed into more and went to do the same. Stabbing and changing and stabbing. Everyone's gone!"
Long spear-length stingers, glints of wet toxin at the tips. Wide crystal wings banging against torsos, making thrumming thunder. It's a *blanket* of angry buzzing. Getting thicker as they crawl over each other. At me. Looking to smother me. Kill me. If I'm lucky.
"What I'm doing, it has to be done. Because someone has to do it. Because no one else is doing it. They're scared of what might happen. Scared of what they could lose. Scared of things they can't change. We can't live like that."
Do you have any idea how this looks? We aren't at war anymore. The tournament is supposed to *prevent* this exact sort of conflict from flaring up again. You can't just go around dropping armies on the *home planets* of the universe's seven super-races."
His ancient race long ago unravelled the laws of physics, and they then learned how to redefine them. They harvest fusion fire to sustain themselves, and they hollow out suns to build their private strongholds. They are guardians of the spaces they know and explorers of the spaces they don't.
Somewhere on Planet M, a forlorn survivor is losing her grip on her unusual authority. "I'm... what? A surrogate? A stopgate? Why keep me and then lie to me? Why save me and then despise me so much?"
"The philosophies of your unconventional brother go against your own... he would do _anything_ to ensure your safety. With his assistance, we will prevail."
Andy Dharma bent over the Stringer's prone body, wrapped both arms around his head, and with a single fast wrench, broke the super-wizard's neck. KRACK!
He'll head toward Genovefa. Maybe not immediately, but inevitably. She can't hide from him any more than he can avoid her. The Cosmic Crowns draw them together. Its a drive. Its a feverish heat.
"The Schrivener has the Crown. The cosmic tournament is between him and Queen Buzz. Walk away from all this devestation. Put an _end_ to this madness."
"That's exactly what I intend to do."
"We've _sztudied_ you for thiz entire Tournament! Without your cosZzmic weapon, you're no threat! You're little more than a ztubborn _nail_ for me to hammer down."
“Iz thiZs what you’re reduced to? A cockroach, sZcurrying and hiding underneath the firmament? If make Uz chasZze after you, We will bring the heavenZz down upon you.”
Reality stretches like canvas pulled taut. Time stutters and scratches and skips, between moments and months. The Wizard takes refuge within the umbra of the system's innermost planet, little more than a corner to be backed into.
"Born of cozmic power, with a mind the sZzize of the universZze... and you thought death would stop her? What szort of sZzimple idea did you take her for, that she'd die szo quietly?"
In the calm eye of it, I can just make out Melisende's massive shape, pacing and stomping and _screaming_ at them, her voice amplified overtop the cacophony. "Are you happy now? That'z it! It'z over!"
Playing tour guide's certainly been more agreeable than playing babysitter. As far as pointless distractions go. If nothing else, its been interesting visiting old haunts, if only to see what's left of them.
