Writer's Block Person #1
by Drew PerronWRITER'S BLOCK PERSON: THE NEVERENDING JOURNEY "Hullo! I'm Writer's Block Person, and I... wait, Writer's Block Woman was a thing. Maybe I should have a different name...
WRITER'S BLOCK PERSON: THE NEVERENDING JOURNEY "Hullo! I'm Writer's Block Person, and I... wait, Writer's Block Woman was a thing. Maybe I should have a different name...
WRITER'S BLOCK PERSON: THE WRITE STUFF "Okay, so- god, that's a cheesy title," said the Person of Procrastination. "But anyway- I think it's okay for me to exist, I mean, Writer's Block Woman is a very different concept anyway. My stories end whenever I get hung up on how they should proceed.
WRITER'S BLOCK PERSON: WRITE IN THE NICK OF TIME "Oh god, are they all going to have titles like that?" Writer's Block Person shook their head ruefully. "Anyway, I think I'm a transforming superhero, like a Power Ranger or such, and when I get blocked on what should happen next, I de-transfor
WRITER'S BLOCK PERSON: i can't think of a funny title right now "Well. I'm freaked out by unrelated anxiety right now, so I'm not sure I can even write. But, um, let's try anyway." Writer's Block Person walked down the street. frig. okay. it's gonna be all right. They walked down the street
"Boy, I feel great today," said Writer's Block Person, walking through the streets, the midday sun shining off their armor. "I'm glad it finally feels like spring. Seasonal depression sucks, haha..." Suddenly, the air above the sidewalk tore open, and a bunch of net.heroes leapt out. They were
"Crap crap crap the day's almost over and I haven't written anything!" Writer's Block Person ran in a giant metaphorical and also literal hamster wheel. "Crap crap crap! I've got momentum and I don't want to waste it! Crap crap crap... whatever! Write something post it!" Drew "craaaaaaaap"
"snrk" went Writer's Block Person. "pfnnt" "ehe" "ehe" "ehe" "heeheeheenBWAHAHA" "oh my god" "oh my god okay" "okay, okay, one more" "...BWEEheeheeWAHAhaha oh my god" "You're high, aren't you," said Dr. Puppy. "pfnt!! No, no... this Tumblr, this Tumblr is just really funny...
"Wait, my name is Dr. Puppy?" said Dr. Puppy. "What kind of a name is that?" "Well, um... oh! Remember how Drew proposed that, in LNH20, there was a space empire that ruled the sector of space Earth was in, and it was controlled by a race of beings who looked like adorable blue-green puppies?"
Writer's Block Person was in the coffeehouse, writing the latest issue of Writer's Block Person, when SUDDENLY! WHAM! The door swung open, and in leapt a figure in a gaudy, shimmery red outfit; they wore a red monocle over a face-covering red mask, and red pens extended from their hands like
Multicolored lightning crashed, and a humanoid form composed of shifting fractal patterns, blue and purple and red, resolved out of the fundamental energies unleashed. They threw back their head and shouted, "Now and forever, I am Chaos Theory!" Writer's Block Person stuck their head out the
"GAAAAAH" Writer's Block Person flipped the table they were working at. "ALL OF YOU ARE SO FRUSTRATING" "Eh?" said Killswitch, who was visiting from- "NO YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO TALK" WBP tossed him into their beanbag collection. "WE HAVEN'T ESTABLISHED THE LNH'S CURRENT STATUS QUO YET, WHY IS
The coffeehouse door opened, and in strode a figure. A Korean woman with a curl of bright red hair. A cape that shaded from dark blue at the top, through red, into orange, yellow and white at the feathered edge, held on by an off-center heart-shaped golden brooch. A polished cherry-wood staff
Today, Writer's Block Person was logging in from the cafe at the public library! "Hmm hmm," they hmm'd under their breath. "I don't know what to write~ I'm going to lose all my momentum and have to work in corporate America and shrivel~ into~ a~ husk~" They shook themselves out and decided to
Writer's Block Person was hanging out at home, no doubt doing something *adorable* and *domestic*. Bah! I, the NEGA-NARRATOR, demand that they come forth! "Eh?" Writer's Block Person put down the giant pink heart pillow they were cuddling. "What's all this then?" It's issue *fifteen* of this
"I've been pretty productive today," said Writer's Block Perron, flopping on the couch, "but man, I'm really spacing out now. I suppose it's just a natural reaction to emotional stuff and I should relax and let it run its course." "Nope!" said a giant caterpillar. "You're being sucked into the
"What should I write Writer's Block Person about tonight?" Writer's Block Person pondered. "No, wait, this kind of opening is overdone. Um..." Writer's Block Person sat in the circle of witches, arms outstretched, chanting to Manon- "No, no, no. I'd want to do either actual research on
Amethyst Allenby, AKA Gives Hugs Impetuously Lass, opened the door of Writer's Block Person's apartment. "Hullo?" She stepped in, peering about. From far back in the closet, a voice echoed. "Hullo!" Writer's Block Person appeared, wheeling out a stack of boxes as tall as they were on a dolly.
Deep in the darkness... a door opens... Whisperion was in the darkness. It seemed to stretch to all sides - or was it a tight, confining closet? "Hullo?" she called out. There was a sussuration, a rush, chains being pulled through velvet curtains, and out of the darkness stumbled Writer's
Writer's Block Person was flopped on their desk, groaning. Kid Review was poking them in the nose with one finger. "You know you gotta do it," said Kid Review. "I knooooow." "People have been waiting so long, and now's the right time." "I knooooow!" "You just gotta finish the Spoon of
Writer's Block Person sat. They sat, staring into a brightly lit screen. They clicked away. Clicked around. Clicked back. Kid Review sat up. They squinted. "Writer's Block Person?" "Yeah..." "Are you doing the thing where you don't let yourself go to bed until you don't feel bored anymore?
Writer's Block Person was lying across the laps of Whisperion, Chaos Theory, and Redink. Kid Review and Gives Hugs Impetuously Lass had pulled up chairs, and Dr. Puppy was sitting on GHILass's lap. All of them were watching the big monitor, as the third episode in a row of the new season of
Writer's Block Person was walking down the street downtown when a dark figure wearing an all-concealing robe beckoned him into an alleyway. Since 21st-century downtown Pittsburgh had huge, spacious alleyways that weren't particularly dark or dangerous, they shrugged and followed along~
Writer's Block Person stepped into the only English-style pub in Pittsburgh (at least, the only one that wasn't inside a hotel), holding the dirty napkin that had been taped to their door. It had the address and a time. They peered in, looking around... Ah, there, at the bar - a man in a dirty
"Nyarharharhar!" said the anthropomorphic foam-rubber squid wearing a laurel wreath, waving its tentacles about. "I am Cephalopod Caligula, strongest general of the Beige Emirate! I'm here to drain the energy of college students for my mistress, Vice President Negative Clownfish!" "Oh, crap!"
AND NOW, OUR FEATURE PRESENTATION... Kid Review stood on the sidewalk in front of the co-op and sighed. The building across the street had been broken and covered in graffiti since he'd known it. But now, the door had been unboarded, and a neon-pink sign had been affixed to it reading "Secret
One day, Writer's Block Person decided to write a bunch of flash fiction. THEN NINJAS ATTACKED - The lightbulbs were plucked fresh from the fields. We noticed when they sang, as the tingling energy of solar-fueled electricity filled them. But we did not notice when they cried, as the
"Uggggh," said Writer's Block Person, sitting at their desk and holding their head in their hands. "I've been trying to push through my anxiety, but it's hard to move past my fears. I wish there was something more concrete I could focus my efforts on, push against." "Oh, hey," said Doctor
"Welp, this is a milestone," said Whisperion, laying on the couch. The sink turned off, and Writer's Block Person walked out of the kitchen, drying off their hands. "Sorry, what?" "This is a milestone," repeated Whisperion, sitting up. "Your twenty-ninth issue. There were only twenty-nine
Writer's Block Person was curled up on the couch, on their laptop, reading The Liminals #2. "Awww," they said. "Awwww..." They paged down. "Awwwwwww!" They pulled at their hair. "Crap! This is too sad!" They leapt up from the couch, striking a dynamic pose. "I must hug!!" Kid Review came out
Writer's Block Person ran down the street, in their 'Magneto Had Some Valid Points' T-shirt, holofoil skirt, and ready-to-hold-comics backpack. They ran through the door, up the stairs, and into the comic book store. "YAY Free Comic Book Day!" Everyone, patrons and employees alike, looked
One of Writer's Block Person's lesser-known heroic weaknesses is seasonal depression! So in the midst of the darkness of winter, we find them curled up in a chair, under blankets, a sun lamp shining in the grayness of the day, headphones over their ears. Their eyes are closed, and their head is
Whisperion, mystic hero of growth and life, sat on the pink couch in Writer's Block Person's apartment. She was playing Jaipur, a card game about trading along the Silk Road in medieval India. Her opponent was the cosmic being/deep time meddler/big nerd Chaos Theory, who was going all-in on an